Redirection Techniques That Calm Challenging Behavior in Kids
Big feelings can show up fast in kids especially when they’re tired, hungry, overstimulated, or facing a change they didn’t choose. In those moments, it’s easy for a small problem to turn into yelling, throwing, bolting, or a power struggle that leaves everyone drained.
Redirection is a calm way to shift a child from what isn’t working to what can work without shaming, threatening, or getting stuck in a debate. The goal isn’t to “win” the moment. It’s to help the child move toward safety, regulation, and a more useful next step.
What Redirection Looks Like in Real Life
Redirection is guiding attention and action toward something safer or more appropriate. That might mean offering a choice, changing the environment, switching the task, or giving the child a simple job that resets their body and brain.
It can look like: “Hands are not for hitting. You can squeeze this pillow or push the wall with me.” Or, “It’s hard to stop playing. Let’s race to the bathroom, then we’ll come back for one more minute.”
A small, steady shift is often enough to change the direction of the moment. Your next step: pick one phrase you can say the same way every time.
Why it Can Work During Tough Moments
When a child is overwhelmed, their brain is often in “survival mode,” not “reasoning mode.” They may struggle to hear long explanations, follow multi-step directions, or stop an impulse quickly.
Redirection works best when it’s simple and immediate: you’re giving the child a clearer path than the one they’re on. You’re also lending your calm showing them what “steady” looks like when their body feels anything but steady. Your next step: keep your words under 10–12 seconds.
Benefits for kids and Caregivers
Used consistently, redirection can:
- reduce escalation and keep everyone safer
- protect the relationship (less lecturing, more guidance)
- teach replacement skills over time (what to do instead)
- help kids practice flexibility switching gears without melting down
It also helps adults stay out of the “all-or-nothing” trap. You’re not ignoring the behavior; you’re choosing the most effective way to respond in the moment. Your next step: notice one situation this week where “less talking” helps.
How to Use Redirection Without Making Things Worse
Start with your own nervous system. A slow breath, softer shoulders, and a low voice can matter more than the perfect words.
Then try this sequence:
- Name the limit briefly. “I won’t let you throw that.”
- Offer a replacement action. “You can throw this soft ball into the basket.”
- Make it easy to succeed. Move the unsafe object, get closer, simplify the task.
- Reinforce the pivot. “Nice switch thank you for choosing the ball.”
Some caregivers also use distraction and redirection techniques as a structured way to shift attention without escalating the moment. Your next step: plan one “replacement option” ahead of time (a fidget, a job, a movement break).
Examples You Can Try (Home and Classroom)
Hitting or grabbing: “I won’t let you hit. Show me strong hands hands in pockets, then we squeeze the putty.”
Your next step: practice the replacement when the child is calm.
Refusing to transition: “Two choices: hop like a bunny to the door or walk like a robot.”
Your next step: keep choices real, small, and both acceptable.
Yelling or arguing: “I hear you want more time. Let’s write it down and set a timer for tomorrow.”
Your next step: repeat the same script instead of debating.
Throwing objects: “That’s not safe. Let’s do a ‘throw zone’ with socks into this bin.”
Your next step: create a safe outlet for the same impulse.
Redirection by Age (and What to Expect)
Toddlers/preschoolers: Short phrases, fast swaps, and lots of movement work well. Their self-control is still developing.
Your next step: use the same 2–3 redirection phrases daily.
School-age kids: They can handle a tiny bit more language, especially when you pair it with a clear action.
Your next step: add one “reset job” (carry books, wipe table, push wall).
Teens: Redirection often needs respect and collaboration. “Do you want to take space, or do you want me to sit quietly with you?” can land better than directives.
Your next step: offer privacy and choices, not lectures.
Common Misconceptions
Redirection isn’t the same as “letting it slide.” Limits still matter you’re just delivering them in a way the child can actually use in the moment.
It also isn’t a trick to distract a child from every hard feeling. The long-term goal is skill-building: helping them move through frustration without unsafe behavior. Your next step: after things settle, name the feeling and the skill they practiced (“You were mad, and you chose the pillow.”).
When redirection isn’t enough
Sometimes behavior is frequent, intense, or unsafe enough that you need more support than in-the-moment strategies. That can include patterns like ongoing aggression, major sleep issues, frequent school removals, or a child who seems constantly overwhelmed. It’s okay to pause here if this feels heavy.
A pediatrician, child psychologist, school counselor, or behavior specialist can help you understand what’s driving the behavior and build a consistent plan across home and school. Your next step: write down two specific examples (what happened right before, what the child did, what helped afterward).
Final Thoughts
Kids aren’t “giving you a hard time” as much as they’re having a hard time and you’re allowed to have a hard time, too. With practice, the right redirection techniques can help you steer tough moments toward safety and connection, one small pivot at a time. Your next step: choose one situation to practice this week and keep it simple.
Safety disclaimer:
If you or someone you love is in crisis, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. You can also call or text 988, or chat via 988lifeline.org to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Support is free, confidential, and available 24/7.
Author Bio:
This post was contributed by Earl Wagner, a data-driven content strategist who works with mental health organizations to increase awareness of resources for teens and adults.
Sources
- Lieneman, C. C., Brabson, L. A., Highlander, A., Wallace, N. M., & McNeil, C. B. (2017). Parent–Child Interaction Therapy: Current perspectives. Psychology Research and Behavior Management, 10, 239–256. https://doi.org/10.2147/PRBM.S91200
Aashley Kai is the Editorial Director of Chelsea Famous Parenting and a licensed expert in early childhood education. She holds a Master’s in Child Psychology from the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center and has worked as a preschool teacher and child therapist. Since joining in 2024, Aashley has been dedicated to creating well-researched, trustworthy parenting resources. Her work helps parents and caregivers foster nurturing, educational environments for children. Outside of work, she enjoys hiking and photography, capturing nature from a child’s perspective.
